THE CREEPY WIZARD-LADY AT THE DMV (…and other weirdness…)


So I made a video yesterday about Dianne Feinstein. Here she is…

She looks exactly like an enraged, middle-aged MAN, who’s ready to push the “button” because his boxer shorts are the wrong brand.

Here he is shape-shifting…

NOTE: The NUB with the FACE on it, fighting to get out of the larger face…

via it’s forehead!

It’s about time we accepted the fact that Lizards COULD be in control.

What’s next? Does the head of this thing have to split wide open…

and a whole ‘nother LIZARD come stepping out of it, before we do something as a NATION and invest in some “Pellets” or something?

Just ONE PELLET in it’s vodka martini should do the trick.

Apparently the pellet swells up inside of the unhappy reptile’s throat and (in a kind way) chokes the life out of it.



Other news:


there’s a creature working in the DMV, here in Venice, who looks exactly like this…

…only without the beard.

So I go into the DMV “waiting area” and I see this pile of white crunchy, crispy, hair, sitting on top of a wrinkled face…

all of it attached to an abnormally TALL form, clad in faded jeans and a long, man’s dress shirt.

The thing was sporting a look of satanic discontent, on it’s weather-worn face and I tried to pretend that the freakish looking “Wizard-Lady” was all perfectly normal fare. Nothing bizarre to see here!



The whole feel of the DMV was “dream-like” from the moment I stepped through the doorway…people moving in slow-motion…the clock ticking away…

the SEA HAG in the corner, now helping a young couple, and, sadly…

FLIRTING with the (very young) man who accompanied the lovely young woman (who was wearing XTREME cut off shorts, but had an athletic figure.)

As soon as she called MY NUMBER…I thought:

“OK…I’m going to try and make the best of this situation.”

That’s when I told her that I was “admiring her hair” (which was a small lie on my part) and she felt the need to respond by telling me that she cut 7 inches off of her hair EVERY MONTH… 

YUGE lie.

EPIC lie.

She’d look much more like THIS if it was true…


I said “REALLY?”

That’s when the fun began.

I informed her that I didn’t have my insurance card because the other lady said I didn’t NEED it.

She looked me right in the eyes and said:

“NO ONE HERE told you that.”

I said “Yes she did” getting pissed that she is now calling ME a liar! (Remind you of anyone?) From that moment on, this witch did everything she could to make sure I didn’t get my license that day.

As it was, I believe I mis-understood the previous lady…and she MEANT that I didn’t need the insurance card anymore THAT DAY…and I took it the wrong way…

but STILL.

Have you ever been in a great mood, so thankful for everything God has given you, determined to put a smile on people’s faces where ever you go (if it is humanly possible) and you look into the other person’s eyes and see the PITS OF HELL inside of their EMPTY eyeballs?

That’s what it was like.

Witch face.

HAG face.


But why?

Got no idea.

She finally got me with the eye test…

which she made me take, even though she didn’t have to.

This creature REALLY didn’t want me to get my license that day…and I’m convinced that the “Wizard” look was the last memento this foul creature had…

from a FAILED “Witch Career!”

And now she sits behind the desk of the DMV in Venice Florida…with her Extra Crispy Wizard-Hair A-flying…a chip on her shoulder…

and looking, for all the world, like something that washed up on the beach after a tropical storm.

Of course by the end of the whole ordeal, I couldn’t stop the SNARK from escaping my own lips.

When I said Goodbye to the wretched old toad I said:

“They say the OLDER you get the FASTER your HAIR grows! BYE! Have a great day!” 

All in all… I don’t want to go back there but I have to.

I decided that if SHE pulls my number again, I will treat her like a punching bag and relentlessly hit her with repeated (pre-prepared) SNARK bombs.

“Shut up or I’ll kill you.” Something like that…


I could just leave her to her miserable life at the DMV where they ALL must know by now that she’s a Narcissistic Sociopath and to stay away from her.


So that’s my DMV story.

I have to go back there, so expect a part 2 (follow-up.)






About LindaP

Broadcast veteran. Over 20 years: CNN, MSNBC, LIFETIME, ESPN, NBC, ABC, CBS as Producer, Art Director, Animation Specialist and Graphic Designer. Over 16 years as a freelance writer: Jezebel Magazine, Atlanta Magazine, Creative Loafing, Southhampton Press. Currently writing a book about a bizarre series of unsolved murders, that began in 1931 and ended in 1970. I have linked all of the crimes to one forgotten suspect.
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5 Responses to THE CREEPY WIZARD-LADY AT THE DMV (…and other weirdness…)

  1. Maggie says:

    Venice Florida is home to a team of middle east terrorist who lived, trained, and plotted in the take down of World Trade Centers.

    Demographics of Venice Florida with 60% Senior Citizens and 30% Sketchy Citizens.

    Get familiar with words snowbirds and Red Tide.

    Casperson Beach should be avoided at night and is a gay nude beach by day.

    Always remember that in ANY water lives alligator’s and snake’s.

    October is mating season for the alligator, which means they’re mobile.

    I did 5 year’s in Venice and that’s 5 years I can’t get back. Finally found my way back to the Atlanta area. More about Venice later. Maggie

  2. Steve Summar says:

    Sage advice…Ariel…

    Imagine DMV folks administrating government healthcare…one only has to look at the old VA healthcare system.

    I have been a patient in the VA healthcare system for 20 years. Quality of care within the VA varies regionally…from pitiful to outstanding. I have been blessed to receive my care locally in Oklahoma. Without exception I have received incredible care for a variety of chronic issues, including multiple cardiac/pulmonary surgeries, procedures, therapies, treatment and medications. Conversely as the primary caregiver for both my late parents, I was appalled at the level of care, incompetency and absence of courtesy afforded my parents in the Medicare system. I am equally appalled at the quality of care provided within the private/insured sector.

    The VA healthcare system is the gold standard of healthcare, locally and in other regions. Regionally it was good before president Trump, and it’s even better since. The same institutional changes utilized in the VA healthcare systems, could be applied to Medicare, dramatically lowering costs, while improving outcomes…in my humble opinion…

    As a retired oil and gas producer and US Air Force veteran, I thank God every day for our return to Judeo-Christian values and the President who restored them…God bless us all…

    A special note of gratitude to Truman and Blondie, for allowing me to bloviate here and in their chat room…

    Cyberbubba and the rotties…

  3. Reenie D says:

    Excellent! (Be careful…. be veerrrry careful! She has your address!)

  4. Ariel Adams says:

    Linda, Linda, Linda, haaaaaaaaaaaa
    you out did yourself. The Snark strikes again….the DMV has the same computer system the cops do and can see if you have insurance, outstanding tickets, etc. Hopefully, you will get another lady next time, and just take everything with you, regardless if another clerk said you didn’t need. The clerks might have all the same training (maybe at different times) but not all have the same aptitude. I’ve been a state employee–you can be a top swimmer or a bottom feeder–after you’ve passed probation. I digress, great blog dear. Send Ms. Lizard flowers for providing you with content…or not.

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